suckiest blogger award

I am the suckiest blogger in blogland right now… my apologies. If you’ve read my brother’s site, you know that Alison is in the hospital and everything that’s going on there. (She’s not doing well at all… we’re all praying and thinking positive thoughts.) We’re knee deep in the house search and I’m swamped with jobs at the moment. So I’m way behind on blogging, emails, and letters. I’m sorry!

I have a whole lineup of things I’m going to write about though. So upcoming posts include: How I got an illustration rep, my favorite vegetarian meals, updates on the city vs. country debate, and a show-and-tell of all the work I’ve finished in the last month… I hope you’ll bare with me as I find little pockets of writing time.

Hopefully things will chill soon… I hope.

Posted in everyday things | 15 Comments »

city vs. country

We are starting the home search on Wednesday, and I’m really looking forward to it because I think it’s kind of fun to spy on how other people set up their spaces. (Even if most houses during showings are freakishly clean — I mean, no one I know lives with nothing on their counter tops and six billion pillows on their bed).

All along Colin and I have been thinking that when we came back to Indiana, we’d find a small farmhouse out in the country. Out in the middle of nowhere with some land, an open view of cornfields for miles, and set up shop in some renovated red barn. We’d spend evenings in rocking chairs on our back porch sipping lemonade and listening to music and crickets. Sounds really romantic… (and probably totally idealized, but hey, that’s part of dreaming, right?)

But since we’ve been back, we’ve been re-thinking that idea. With gas prices being so high, country life could get expensive due to driving distances. And we also wonder if we’d just be stoking our anti-social fires by living in the boonies. Maybe it’s better to try to be a part of a community, even if it’s painful at first. (I get uncomfortable meeting new people sometimes.) And we are big library goers, art show attendees (even if I’m in an eff-art phase right now), and restaurant critics.

I wish we could do both. Get a small bungalow in the city. And a little country cottage to retreat to whenever the mood struck us. But that’s out of the question. (This kind of idealized dreaming is way too big. Maybe I can dream of house-swapping for a home in the country occasionally!)

So we’re leaning toward putting country dream on hold for a while and finding a house downtown. And we’re pushed even more in that direction because of some people we met on Friday night. We had dinner with an art director we’ve both worked with, and his lovely (and very pregnant) wife who live in a charming little house two blocks away from virtually everything. Their backyard was nice and secluded. (We sat out there and drank root beer floats!) Their house had loads of character (great hardwood floors, old woodwork, big doors). And they are part of the downtown CSA, so they support farmers and eat locally grown food. She can bicycle to yoga class, and he can bike to work. They were talking to us about all the cool people they’ve met in their neighborhood, and how those people made them realize that they have unique stories too. And it all just sounded really perfect. Sounded like what Colin and I need to bloom a little more. (Other friends also mentioned that they only put 5000 miles on their car last year due to living in the city — a big bonus.)

So that’s where we stand. We start looking at houses in the downtown area Wednesday and I am hoping to fall in love. I want character, an open layout, a good size space for our studio, a secluded backyard, close proximity to fun stuff… and mainly: I want a house that will make us feel safe and like we’re home. I haven’t felt settled in a couple of years and I’m ready to really sink into a house. Paint colors we like. Sit in big fat arm chairs and read and feel like we have all the time in the world. Have dishes in a sink and tea in our hands. Home.

Wish us luck!

Posted in moving | 23 Comments »

things worth cheering about right now

I’m pretty funkadelic funkalicious right now. But I am still seeing things worth cheering about right now. Things like:

- a brand new haircut. I’m light and airy now. I heart short hair.

- rocking my niece to sleep this afternoon. She’s a sugar-butt.

- new sushi restaurants. Bring on the wasabi!

- getting fun mail from friends. (pink envelopes!)

- sitting outside with a cool breeze.

- a new stack of books.

- chocolate carmel freezes.

- fresh summer plums. (Why are most of my cheering thing food?)

- sticky fingers.

- fluffy pillows.

- encouraging emails from friends. I’d be in a downward spiral without you all.

That felt so good. Whatcha got on your cheering list?

Posted in balance, everyday things | 12 Comments »

upside down

(doing yoga with alison’s 9 year old niece, abbie)

Still here. Feeling quiet and a need to pay attention to my insides for a while… I’m not sure which way is up at the moment and I’m trying to find my footing.

Posted in balance | 5 Comments »

a note from the basement dweller :)

I have officially clocked one week of living in my brother and Alison’s basement. It’s dark down there (Colin is out getting night lights as we speak) and I often bump my knees when attempting to find the bathroom in the middle of the night. But it’s also very spacious. We have our own bedroom with a door, as well as a large studio area set up where we can turn up the music and get work done. Alison has joined us during the day when Tom is at work for a little sitting and chatting. It’s nice. It works.

I am the resident chef (for the most part) and happy to be using my cooking skeels. Big pots of spaghetti. Three-bean chilis. Stir-fries. It feels good to make healthy and yummy meals for receptive bellies. Reminds me of being much younger and cooking for my big family (I’m the oldest of 6).

And I’m learning the art of helping Alison. She and I became very close in South Carolina and I’m happy to be spending more time with her again. She doesn’t hesitate to tell me what she needs (a snack, a water refill, more pain meds) and I’m grateful for the opportunity to feel useful.

Since the move, my creativity has dropped off the map. Sure — I can still get my work done, but I don’t feel inspired. I think I’m still reeling from the upheaval and all the changes right now. (The bad home sale surprises, moving stress, missing my old yoga class, the impending house-hunt, etc) I find myself blank when I try to write here or in my journal. I don’t know what to paint (I’m in 3 shows this fall and I’m starting to feel the pressure). Heck, I don’t even want to look at anything art related. No creative blogs. No gallery shows. Not even art books. It’s bad this time.

But instead of panicking, I’m just chillin’ and waiting for it to pass. Because I’ve been here before and know it eventually will. Just gotta keep on keepin’ on.

Anyway, just some snippets of now– and I wanted to say hello.

hello, how are you?

penny

Posted in cancer, everyday things | 16 Comments »

that first cup of coffee

We’ve landed, unpacked what we need for now, and I’ve had that first cup of coffee… it was even better than I’d hoped.

(I’m way behind on email, if you’ve written. Swamped with work. But I’ll get back to you soon. Thanks for your patience!)

I’ve missed you all here in blog-land…

xoxo

Posted in moving | 12 Comments »

listen down

It is done! We officially closed on the sale of our house yesterday at 3pm. It went really smoothly. (I knocked on wood every chance I got the day preceding!) Everyone, lawyer included, was telling jokes and having a good time. A good time at a house closing?! Yeah, that’s what I thought… :) After the closing ceremonies we went out for dinner with the realtors and the new buyer, which I guess is a bizarre situation… but it felt good. Felt good to get to know who was going to love this house next. Hear about how excited he and his family were. Swap stories. I think we could have been friends. I wonder why more transactions aren’t more personal like that… Could be a new wave of business.

We came home after the dinner (we are staying in this house one more week, moving out next weekend) and just sat down and marveled at it all being done. And immediately after the marveling, I wanted to go run some errands. Go the bookstore to pick up something new to read, go get a new bathing suit (I’m meeting a friend next week at the beach and my swim suit is shot)… My mind wanted to go do all these things. But my body was saying … screaming… NO! Relax. I’m tired. Do it later!

And I actually listened.

This is unusual because I normally do whatever my mind wants. Working 14 hours straight? — Sure. Running errands right after that? — Ok, I guess. Going out when I am tired? — Right on. I run my body till it nearly collapses and it never really talks back. But that is changing… Last night when I wanted to run my errands and I knew I was tired, I decided not to drive myself so hard. I chose to just sit and celebrate and reflect on the closing of this time, and not move on to the next thing right away.

So instead of running out the door, I lay down on the couch. Read for a bit. And then found myself waking up about 2 hours later. I was just exhausted from all the stress.

I don’t know why I don’t listen to my body more. This is the only one I’m gonna get, as far as I know, and yet I seem to take it for granted. I think this should change. I want to do better about looking inside to see what the body needs — rest, something wholesome to eat, a tall glass of water, some yoga stretches — and reach an agreement with what the head wants… this seems like such a better way to live. Whole.

So here’s my plan:

- Check in with my body whenever I feel a small pain or cramp… is it trying to tell me something? Do I need to stop and stretch for a while before starting on the next thing?

- Get up every hour and walk around, focus my peepers on things other than the screen or the painting I’m doing.

- Re-commit to a daily (or almost daily) yoga practice. (I’m bad at doing it every day. I just can’t seem to fit it in…)

- Remember to keep drinking water.

-Every now and then pause and try to feel my heartbeat… can I feel it in my hands? in my toes? in my knees?

- Breathe. Feel it on my upper lip. Going through my nose. Down my pipes…

I’m grateful that I’m healthy, and I want to stay that way. :)

Today my body needs a nap, tea with a friend, a hug, a walk around the neighborhood, and a good cat stretch…

I’m curious… Do you listen to your body? Or is it too quiet compared to your head?

Posted in balance, moving, my sacred life | 17 Comments »

a better post

Dudes. I’m sorry to be such a bummer! I just needed to write that to get it “out there” and less “in here”. You know?

In better news… my dear girl Christine has a new print for sale… You can read about the story behind it here and purchase it for 25 bones here! All funds go to help Christine attend Squam. Wicked. :)

Better day ahead!

Posted in art, everyday things | 3 Comments »

any time now…

This move has been sooo stressful. Just one thing after another. I have been waking up in the wee hours of the morning with my heart racing and my brain going a million miles an hour, spinning over and over all the stuff we have yet to do. We are supposed to close tomorrow. I hope it happens. Praying that it happens.

Then we move out officially next week. I am really looking forward to dropping off all our stuff into a storage unit, keeping out clothes and art supplies and settling into my brothers house for a break from all the moving madness. The morning we wake up there and have that first cup of coffee will be Relief. I’m keeping my thoughts on that cup of coffee.

I hope we stay in our next house for a good long while. :)

It has been quite a challenge to stay present and in the moment through all of this. I am learning. And keep starting over and over and over…

hoping all of you are well. have a good day.

Posted in balance, moving | 10 Comments »

exhausted

This weekend we slammed 34 hours of driving into 3 days, delivering our first car load of stuff to the new destination. But we got to hold baby Gianna for the first time. Celebrate my little sister’s birthday and graduation. Get lost in a sea of green. And witness a gorgeous sunset road side.

So good. And so exhausting. (I’m a bit behind on my emails if you’re written. I’ll catch up soon I hope.)

Happy Monday friends. :)

Posted in everyday things, my sacred life | 2 Comments »