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"The Creative Process"
an interpretation by penelope dullaghan
"Oh, okay, good. You want me to come up with something for that? Well, swell... Yes, I do this all the time. Just give me a few days and I'll have something brilliant for you."
Back in studio....waiting and letting brain absorb and work without me telling it to...*
Well, I'm not coming up with anything at all. I may die. I think I've used up all my good ideas. There is nothing original about me. All my ideas all suck. Who told me I could draw? Who lets me illustrate for a living? Where did I get off telling them I could give them something brilliant? I think I'll go apply at McDonalds this afternoon.
scribbling sketch after sketch, wadding up paper and throwing it across the room
Nope, I'm done for. I will never be able to do this ever again. I should go take a walk. But that wouldn't be productive. Crap. I'm screwed. I better call them and tell them to find someone else.
sketching some more...see small glimmer of good idea in one of the sketches
false alarm...glimmer was just a fluke accident. shout loudly, scaring the cats...keep sketching and finally take that walk in sheer desperation
Oh, wait...there may be an idea. Let me try that. Yes! There it is. I am feeling better about this. I can do this. I will tear up that Micky-Dee's application now. Add a little more to this side....take off that line...one more color here...
Wah-lah! Finished illustration.
Whew! I suddenly find myself swamped with deadlines and projects. The flood gates have officially opened. Sorry for the lack of posts lately. We'll return to our regularly scheduled programming very soon.
(One of the things that was recently added to my list...remember when I mentioned I had a gallery meeting last Friday? Well, it went very well. Now I'm part of a three woman show in August and the gallery wants 15-20 new pieces. OH MY! That's a lot! I better get moving...)
Thank you all for your kind thoughts about my brother. I know he'll return safely. And hopefully bring me back some one-of-a-kind souvenirs! (Gotta look on the bright side, right?)
My little brother. He's been my side-kick my entire life. We'd get in so much trouble when we were little...fighting like cats and dogs. But we have always been best friends through it all. We'd pretend to be pirates, cowboys, space cadets and pioneers. We'd climb tall mountains (hills in our backyard) and swim to the bottom of the ocean (snorkeled in the lake) and take armies by surprise (smacked a bully up on a playground).
In highschool we'd stare at bonfires till the wee hours and dare each other to jump over it. We'd roll around in our p.o.s. cars, listening to songs on repeat. And we'd cheer for each other at our sporting events (he basketball, me volleyball).
We'd write journals back and forth in college and help each other our with our art (honest critiques are wonderful). We'd call each other when we needed advice. We'd call each other just to say we had to pee...
Tomorrow night he leaves for Japan. He's a marine, you know...patriotically helping our country. And he's stationed over there for 6 months. I keep telling myself that it is much better than the middle east. I don't think I could sleep at night if he were there.
But I won't be there if he needs me. And I can't call him if I need to talk.
And that makes me very sad.
Tom, you take care of yourself. I'm going to miss you.
Store Update
The store is all ready to go now. I'm just waiting to get my smack back from the printers. I don't think I'll get all the goods back by the end of the month (oh my...that's Thursday!). So it will be early July instead. Sign up for the newsletter to be the first to know...I'll announce it there first.
The image above is a little sneaky peeky for you...consider yourself teased. :)
Step one in "Operation Self-promotion": Get website to match business cards.
Check.
I am forever amazed by the fact that you can manifest what you want just by saying it out loud and writing it down. Bravely making it known! Back in January, I wrote a short list of things I wanted to accomplish this year. One of my goals was to "be a part of a gallery show". Now it's June...I've been a part of about 5 shows and have two scheduled for August, one for September, and two more in December. And I'm meeting with two galleries this morning (after my run!).
I'd say I accomplished that goal. I went after it and I got it. And I'm damn proud of myself because it was a lot of work.
Now that we're half way through the year, I want to re-evaluate my goals. Think about what I want to accomplish in the last half of the year. I'm going to write down a few things that I want to happen...
- I want to land a good rep who will help me get higher-profile work.
- I want to earn what I'm worth.
- I want to get into CA's illustration annual (ooh, I'm being brave saying this one!)
- I want to brand my company better and more consistently. (I do this so easily with clients, but doing it for myself is difficult...so I must treat myself as a client.)
- I want to do some self-promotion that generates good business.
- I want to feel more comfortable with the business side of my company.
- I want to launch my store and have it do well.
- I want to make a lot more paintings that sell in galleries.
- I want to complete the first issue of Box88 (I can't tell you what this is quite yet...in the future I will!)
- I want to run/walk every morning and feel strong and athletic.
- I want to de-clutter and get rid of anything I don't need and don't love.
- I want to enjoy downtime for myself...refilling the cup.
- I want to feel inspired and therefore inspire others!
Okay, those are my goals. I said them. They are out there. Do what you will, universe...
I invite you to do the same. What are some of your goals?
I have started a new routine for myself in an attempt (wait, that sounds like I'm setting myself up for failure)...a new effort to help me have some balance in my life (you all probably already know that I am a workaholic). Every morning after Colin leaves for work, I strap on my running shoes, put the leash on Vince, and go for a 30 minute run/walk. I'm amazed at what this has done for my personal well-being as well as my work. After my run I feel like I've already accomplished something for the day. The pressure is off. And I feel more free to create.
In the past I have wanted to run everyday...so all day long as I'm working I'm thinking about it: "When will I run?", "It's getting too hot.", "I can't stop this illustration right now."...a million excuses came up and I couldn't put down my work to fit it in. Therefore, no run. But I found that if I do it right away in the morning, I have no chance to miss it.
This routine also forces me to get dressed...I'm prone to working in my pajamas until right before Colin gets home (so I don't look like a slacker). hee.
It feels really good to get out while the morning is still cool. The sun has that special morning light going on that helps you wake up. And there is still dew on the grass. Being out there in it is meditative to me. I sort out my cares, prioritize what I need to do when I get back, and have time to think just for myself. Plus it doesn't hurt to feel stronger and more athletic...
This is definitely a good thing.
To all the locals out there: pick up a new Nuvo today. I did the cover!
The cover story is about domestic violence...specifically, a man killed his wife. Very heavy. Very sad. I drew a bride and groom on top of a wedding cake...the groom has a gun behind his back.
Painting News
Most of my bigger paintings have sold recently (yay!)...so I guess it's time to make more. I've had some good ideas swirling around, and I shrewdly caught them in my journal before they floated away...
This one sold recently (but I'll still have prints for sale in the store):
And remember when I told you that Dress for Success Indianapolis named me their woman artist of the year and I was super excited about the painting I was planning for them? Here is the result:
I presented it yesterday and they loved it. Man, that's a good feeling.
I've been running around like a mad person. Friday night we went up north for my sister's surprise 16th birthday party. She got cake smashed in her face and hair, and we sang to her at the tops of our lungs. (We tipped our waitress very well for putting up with us).
Saturday night was spent entertaining my 11 year old brother who came down for a sleepover. We had a cookout, snuck candy and pop into my purse and went to the movies, lit off fireworks, and went on a motorcycle adventure (picked pricklers out of our pant cuffs for hours).
Sunday we drove to Chicago to see my grandpa for Father's Day. He teased me about my nose-ring (says I look like a bull) and I teased him about watching a belly dancer on TV. (hee!)
And this morning I was frantically preparing for a presentation I have in an hour and a half. I just finished all the print outs and can now breathe a sigh of relief. Whew.
Tea time, I think. :)
p.s. Per your suggestions, I will be opening up the store with prints of the Firefly Woman below as well...Coming VERY VERY soon!
Illustration Friday: Summer
Saw the first lightning bug of the season just the other night. Winter is officially gone.
*Added note: THANK YOU all for your comments! I'm so glad you like this illo. You make me smile!
Thank you for all the suggestions everyone!
I think the first thing I will try to to get a dry erase board and see how that goes...so many of you said that works for you!
As far as bookkeeping, invoicing, and proposal building, I use iBiz. I got it a while back and it's really been helpful. I use it all the time. So I feel like I have that part of my business under control. It's just the day to day streamlining of projects that needs some improvement. :)
I'm going to dig my way to my desk, find my wallet, and get that dry erase board today!
The business side being self-employed is sometimes very difficult. I am not naturally a business person. I think I handle it okay, but there are times when it feels like slugging through thick mud. Not fun...just hard work that makes my brain swirl.
When I was an art director I had account managers working with me on projects. They kept me on schedule, set up meetings, handled money issues, dealt with client concerns. Now I do not have that luxury. There is no hiding behind account managers when you're on your own. And frankly, I miss it. I also have a new appreciation for what they do. (To all my account management friends: I have immense respect for you and will shake your hand hardily next time I see you.)
I was told by my old creative directors that I could work easily on the account management side as well as the creative side because I am naturally organized, really reliable, get projects done on time and keep things moving. And back before I was doing both, I smiled and thought they were right. I took the compliment. But woh...I question that now. I do it, sure. But it's like pulling hen's teeth.
Sometimes I want to just create. Just sit at my drawing table and paint the days away. Instead, I do a lot of administrative stuff. I have to buy all the office supplies (trying really hard to do that before I run out), meet with clients, explain my rationale with projects, do proposals, invoicing, think about self-promotion, etc. It's a lot for one brain to hold.
I've tried different systems to help myself out. First I tried listing open jobs with my computer stickies. I really never open stickies so that didn't work. Then I tried to do paper lists. This is sort of working, but I have a hard time knowing where I am on a project at a glance. Then I set up job jackets for myself. I can't even find my job jackets right now (hee!)... I'm still trying to figure out a system that works through trial and error.
Well, I had better wrap this up and go look for those job jackets. But first, I think I'll call an account manager and tell them I love them.
Do you have a system that helps you through jobs? If so, I'd love to know about it so I can try it. Post a comment so we all can benefit from your well-organized, smooth-running system!
Sometimes I get sick of being so damned responsible. Last night was one of those times. I was in a funk. Feeling like there are just way too many things to do. A list of chores. Piles and piles of laundry. Dirty dishes. Clutter. Ancient magazines that never get attention. Too much stuff. That piled on top of illustrations that have extremely tight deadlines and projects with 20 components that I need to puzzle together. And let's not even talk about how I feel guilty for stressing about this when there are people in my city who are wondering where their next meal will come from.
It was just too much.
And so I said no. I didn't do something even though I thought I should. One can only stretch so far. But you know...it really didn't make me feel any better. I felt guilty, instead. So much guilt. So much of a push to do everything. And do it well. It's hard.
So, what am I going to do about this? Because I can't keep going through this cycle...
I have decided to go through my house room by room and get rid of everything I can. Things that I have not used in a year. Things that I do not love. Things that do not fit properly or for whatever reason make me feel off. Why keep this stuff? I want simple...small...Less stuff to take care of, more life to live.
I went through my kitchen yesterday. I threw out one trashcan full. I have three bags of stuff waiting to go to the Salvation Army. And I have one bag of stuff to give to my sister-in-law who is moving out soon.
And it made me feel free.
Now I just have to go through every other room and do the same thing.
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On a completely different note...I'm really enjoying setting up my soon-to-be-launched on-line store. It's all coming together and I think you'll like it! (I just can't believe start up costs are so much....yipes. Having a hard time swallowing that.) I'll give you a sneak preview very soon.
I love how every morning when I go out to water the flowers, the bottom of my pants inevitably get wet and I walk around for the next hour or so feeling the cool water on my ankles. Bliss.
(above picture: peonies I picked from my garden)
Illustration Friday: Digital
This is my illustration for this week's topic, "Digital". It brought to mind all the gadgets and gizmos that we have today...sometimes I feel like there are way too many and they are choking out "real life"... This poor guy had better go outside soon. :)
Today seems to be one of those days where everything feels difficult. I feel like I'm dragging behind and I will never catch up...Intimidated...
So, today I will just lay low. Keep my head down. Keep working. Until tomorrow.
Colin wrote a funny blog about Idiot Buttons.
Idiot button definition: assorted items that you are crazy for and will stop whatever you're doing to attend to them.
Some of my idiot buttons are:
- charming little cafes that sell fancy coffee drinks.
- art supply stores
- modigliani paintings
- soft tshirts and skirts
- the color combo: grayish-teal with orangy-red
- bodies of water
- flea markets
What are some of yours?
I drove by the State Museum the other day and saw my illustration staring me in the face. It was king-kong sized hanging off the side of the building. HUMONGOUS!
Publicis USA hired me to help promote the Indiana State Museum's Country Music Celebration. So I did this illustration of the guitar. The celebration starts June 10th. If you live in Indy, you should go...I'm going and I don't even like country music. I just think it will be fun. (Plus, there are huge banner illustrations inside you should see!)
Three moleskine spreads done for Giorgia She has put together a show going on at the Arcivernice gallery and asked me to contribute. So this is what I've created. Sending it off to Italy today!
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Also, for those of you living in Indianapolis: Come by tonight and see me at Big Car. I'll be selling the four pieces I did (Gallery Section, second row of squares) for a steal! Plus, some postcards for $2 a pop. :)
Illustration Friday: Envy
Poor frog. :)
ROCK ON!
Ooh, have I got some news!
(I found out about this a couple of weeks ago, but didn't want to say anything before it was up on the site because I was afraid it wasn't true...) But it is true...someone pinch me!
I was awarded the Gold Award for editorial/book illustration by Portfolios.com!
I am very flattered because they have a lot of really talented folks over there. I'm happy to be in that crowd.
Margarita time!
Sorry for the silence. I've been busting my boot-wah on some tight deadlines. And I just finished up a series of illustrations for a show at Big Car Gallery this Friday (all you locals should come!). Recently I watched the Iranian film called "Rang-e khoda" or "The Color of Paradise" in English. So beautiful. So heartbreaking and so uplifting at the same time. It's about a blind boy who wants nothing more than to live in his small village with his family, but his father is ashamed of him...thinking no woman will marry him if he has a blind child to care for.
Needless to say, it left a huge impression on me. And I decided that I needed to do something about it. So I did a series of four images based on the film. Check out the Gallery Section (second row of squares) to see the results. And come to Big Car if you need to see them in person (they are much better in person...lousy scanners...).
Here's the flyer for the upcoming Big Car show:
I hope to see you there!
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© Penelope Illustration. Stealing
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