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This weekend was just bizarre.
- I met a cat named Eric.
- I helped my friend pick out a bath mat for his new
apartment. It wouldn't be too weird, except that he's
the world's biggest player and it was just surreal
that he would let me help him decorate his bachelor
pad. Oh, and he bought candles. Ooh-whit, Ooh-whit.
- I tried out a Unity church where there was a huge,
gold-foiled Chrysler/mini winged structure oddly
hanging on the wall. And they also singled out the
newbies asking them to stand up to receive a special
rock and hugs from the entire congregation.
(I remained seated, pretending I didn't hear that part.)
- I nearly threw my new computer through the window
trying to set up a wireless internet connection. (Still
no luck...stinking not-easy-to-use computers.)
- I drew a whole lot in one sitting and liked a lot of
the drawlings. (I like to say drawlings.)
- I watched a Jennifer Lopez movie and didn't throw
things at the screen.
Illustration Friday: Gluttony
Here is my interpretation of gluttony. I really like this idea that
Crafty Madam submitted: to illustrate the 7 deadly sins. Sounds
like a challenging and fun thing to undertake. Thanks, Crafty!
Oh man. Today has been one hell of a workday. I've not left my
studio chair but to make a tuna fish sandwich for lunch. My
knees are hurting. But I've made all my deadlines. Yay! I love
productive days.
I found out today that working like a mad-person is a really good
way to fight the winter blahs. I have been feeling it bad lately.
The solid gray days have taken their toll. I've been gloomy and
weepy and generally just dumpy. I emailed my brother to tell him
he should be thankful he lives in SC and he said the thing to do
in my situation is to not look out the window. Just busy yourself
with your work. Good idea, Tommy Tiger. It worked. How'd you
get to be so darned smart?
So, remember that project I promised? Yes. It's coming. I swear
it. I have been putting the final touches on it. And I'm sorry it's
late. I didn't consider how darned busy I'd be lately. (I'm not
complaining...busy is GOOD!)
Oh, and in other news: my new computer showed up on my
doorstep this morning. I haven't even taken it out of the box yet.
I'm kind of scared I'll spill on it a nano-second after it's out.
(I am penelope, number one klutz-monkey, remember...)
Tonight we're going to a Pacer game. I think that will be a nice
break from the work. Plus I get to drink $11 beer. What could
be better?
How are things out there, internet world? I've not checked in a bit.
xxoo
Oh. So. Busy.
I'm just chugging along here. More to report later.
Promises, Promises
Today delivered exactly what I needed. Bundled up in a bright yellow
sunshine ball with 50 degree blankets. It instantly lifted me. I rolled
around with my windows down on the way to the a local greenhouse,
where I could smell the air so thick with growing things. I smiled.
All the green plants seemed to promise me...soon, soon. I left after
purchasing potting soil and a plant with red leaves, feeling completely
new.
When I got home I put my fingers in the dirt and pushed it around.
It was warm. My new red plant would like it. I repotted it and decided
to repot the rest of my plants while I was at it. It was messy. Throwing
dirt around casually. Got some up my sleeves. Some in my hair.
It felt so good. So spring-like.
Soon, soon...
Nothing to say out loud. Feeling quiet.
Illustration Friday: The Seasons
I went antiquing with my mom last weekend and found an
old globe that inspired this illustration. And I decided to
try out some black and white illustration just for kicks.
Let It Go
Yesterday I went out back to get the fire pit ready. Stacked all
the branches that have fallen in recent storms. Placed all the
twigs in the pattern that I have found conducive to starting the
fire. Gathered all the dried things and pushed them below
the brush.
I have some things I need to let go. Release. I don't want them
occupying space in my brain any longer. I want them gone.
And the only way I know how to do that is to burn them.
And watch their ashes float away.
Mold!?
I have been informed by the Windstorm publishing staff that you
can now pre-order my first kid's book (written by the oh-so-
charming Katrina Martin Davenport).
"Denise's Mold" is a book about a 10 year old girl who is curious
about mold and decides to grow some in her room. (Stink.)
The release date is April, but you can order them now by
clicking this link. It will take you to Windstorm's site where you
can order it via pay pal. Yippee!
It gets so lonely at times, being self-employed. Alone in
a chilly studio. I got so used to yelling over everyone in
an over-crowded office to be heard. Used to standing up
and walking a few steps to talk to someone. Used to
being in meetings where I could voice my opinions.
Vince just doesn't cut it. I talk to him and he just tilts his
head like he's trying with all his might to understand me
(the little dear). And the cats are completely worthless. I
yell and they just open their eyes a teeny bit to make sure
I'm not giving them more food.
I try to voice my opinions during Penelope Illustration
meetings, and I'm sure the plants appreciate the extra
carbon dioxide, but I'm really just turning into that weirdo
who talks out loud to herself. I found myself having a
conversation with the toaster the other day. I 'woke up'
and heard myself saying: A little too dark, I'd say. Wouldn't
you agree?
yep. that's me. weird to the O.
Things I Need to Remember, Part 1
Illustration Friday: Balance
For balance I decided to do something a little different and put a
business spin on it. Just for kicks. Twist my brain in different ways.
The project I mentioned in my last post is almost cooked. I have
to do a few more things before I release it. Next week, it looks
like. I hope you dig it. I think it will be fun.
Project, Project, Cha Cha Cha
Yesterday I left the studio only once. To get some yogurt. Very
Vanillla (my favorite). I had my nose to the grindstone all day long.
And I accomplished what I needed to. Deadlines are good for that.
I am feeling upbeat today because I have been hit with the inspiration
for the next "Surprise Me"...although, the more I think about it, the
more I think "Project" is the better word for it. I'll change that.
Anyway, this idea has been rolling around in my head for a couple of
weeks now. I keep wadding it up and throwing it in the trash and then
fetching it out later and uncrumpling. And last night the logistics of the
idea got a little clearer. Ooh, it's a good one. I'm excited about it. But
I can't say what it is quite yet. Keep your pants on.
Some sites I've been digging lately:
Jen Gray
Her words inspire me.
Kim's Suitcase
Simple, fun drawings.
Learning Daily
Cin's stuff is lovely.
3x3 Magazine
I got a subscription and it's breathtaking.
Marjorie Priceman
Bright colors to fight the rain.
Waste Not Paper
I want this stuff in an icecream cone.
Enjoy!
10 Things List
I started doing this a long time ago, now. When you need
a pick-me-up, you write down 10 things you are grateful for
right off the top of your head. Don't think too much about
it. Just write them.
Here's mine:
I'm grateful for...
1. The ability to wear bright colors when the whole world
is gray with rain.
2. Hot chocolate.
3. All the kind emails and comments people sent when I
needed them most.
4. Watching Colin and Vince play. Vince being so happy
he spins in circles.
5. Good music. My favorites now: The Postal Service,
American Analog Set, and Bishop Allen.
6. Movies that whisk you away to other places...(Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Garden State)
7. A cozy bed with heavy blankets.
8. Enough work to keep me busy.
9. The thought of going antiquing in small towns this coming
weekend.
10. Being able to call my brother and get some helpful advice.
And you?
Brushing Off
This weekend I picked myself up out of the ashes. Brushed
myself off. And moved on. I did this by playing with art for
art's sake. I sat down with a glass of wine and started
sketching. Lots of people came out (I love drawing people).
Lots of birds. Water. Organic lines. I let the lines be, trying
not to control them so much. People looked old and a little
withered. Like they had experienced things. And I liked that.
The drawing you see above is one of the sketches that came
out. I liked her and decided to use her as a study for a bigger
painting. A painting on something other than my usual paper.
I had left over plywood laying around from an abandoned
project, so I used that. I gessoed it clean (felt so good) and
then I mixed a color that I liked at the moment. I painted a
cloud-like string across the top, and stars falling down from
that. She is painted on top, stars visible through her scarf.
Here is the final painting (24"x21"):
It felt really good to play and not really care what the outcome
was. Fingers all white with gesso. Nails covered in turquoise.
Healing.
Bumps
I found myself last week going through an extremely taxing
time. It was not pretty. And I can't go into details right now.
But it made me want to pack up my paints and leave. Not
just for the week. But entirely. Quit. Find an easy day job
where I punch the clock, work like mad, and then go home,
leaving the problems for the higher-ups to solve.
I was told that the first year of business is very difficult.
And by difficult, they don't mean that you stop and think to
yourself, "Gee, this is really difficult." But difficult meaning
you will want to quit. You will cry and clench your jaw
and want to throw in the towel. You will feel completely
defeated and stupid and rotten and good-for-nothing.
You will wonder if it's worth it.
And they are right. Some times are extremely difficult.
But instead of giving up and going the easy route, you must
choose to look at it as a challenge to be worked through
and then learned from. Learned from. Learned from. (Oh,
I have.)
If everything was simple and came easily it wouldn't feel
rewarding. If there were no trying times you wouldn't be
able to fully enjoy the wonderful times. So, as hard as it
is, I need to be thankful for even the shittiest things.
I know I need them (boy that stings).
There will be bumps in the road to success. Keep going.
Illustration Friday: Disaster Relief
I did this illustration in response to the disaster that happened
in South Asia. You can have a free print of it if you donate/have
donated to the funds helping the victims. Go here to learn more.
Smells Like Teen Spirit
I think I got a glimmer of what it's like to have teenage
daughters. Oh my. Yesterday two of my sisters and their
friends came down to have a slumber party at my house.
They peeled into the driveway and piled out of the car like
a bunch of sleeping-bag bearing clowns. And I waved
from the window with a faint, vacant smile, wondering
what I gotten myself into.
There was squealing and yelling and jumping and then
with the more squealing. I can't believe how much energy
these girls had. I bet if you bottled it up you could give
power to the entire world for at least a day and a half.
So there I was, miss chauffeur-lope for the day. They
wanted to go to the mall. So off we went. Then it was
trying on 10 basquillion things, upsetting dressing room
attendants and store clerks alike. Shoes were ogled.
Wraps were wrapped. Purses were modeled. (All squeal-
worthy, of course). A brief fruit-smoothie rest was had
and then back to shopping.
Then it was over and they squished back into my car
just in time for rush hour traffic. Turning the music up for
them I wondered what was next. And then they revealed
their evening plans: to dress up all glamous-like and go
out to a fancy-schmancy, yet not over-priced dining
establishment. And did I have any recommendations?
Sushi. (please sushi...that'd be great)
We don't like sushi.
Oh. Okay. Um. Upscale chinese?
Okay (squealing!)
Arriving home, jeans were tossed aside for black dresses
and shawls. Ponytails were forced into updo's. Makeup
was flung and scattered throughout the house (glad I
swept before they came). Fuses were blown because of
7 curling irons of different widths being plugged in at the
same time.
Why wasn't I dressed? I didn't realized I was supposed to
sit with them. I was the totally uncool old lady...I'd already
packed my purely-for-enjoyment novel into my bag. So,
I slid my vintage dress over my jeans and said I was ready
when they were.
After being seated at the table in the agreed-upon-suitable
dressy restaurant and harassing the waiter, deemed as cute,
they settled in for story swapping. I sipped my cherry coke
and make little laughing noises when appropriate, trying
hard not to feel like I was grandma-lope.
Dinner was done. Checks were begrudgingly paid. The
car's capacity was abused once more. And we were home.
Then came the sundaes with sprinkles and whipped
cream and chocolate and caramel. Sticky dishes left
to my cats who decided slumber parties were well worth it.
Then of course, the face masks and nail painting ensued.
I went to bed after popping "Garden State" in for them.
I got up at 2 when I heard screaming, thinking they'd lit
the house on fire. (It was just a controversial part in the
next movie, "Ghost World", they chose.)
This morning they packed up their things and drove away
smiling, thanking me for the awesome time they had.
I said they were welcome and closed the door. Ah, quiet....
I haven't been downstairs yet to the movie room in question.
I think I'll do that tomorrow. At least I got a yummy sundae
and some lack of sleep out of the deal. :)
p.s. To all you with teenage daughters: I commend you.
You are something to be marveled at.
Hi. I wrote this in my last newsletter. Then realized I'm
probably leaving people out who haven't signed up yet.
So, here you go:
It's amazing to me when you come across something
you needed so badly and you never knew it. Like the
Universe or God or some unknowing stranger put it directly
in your path at x time. Some karmic spy mission happening
around you.
Despite all the good in my life right now that I should be
concentrating on and all the blessings I should be counting,
I was feeling pretty dumpy this morning. Directionless and
voiceless and tired. That feeling you get when everything
seems difficult. Cloudy.
I decided to get out and go to to the gym. And I really
didn't want to. I drove there dreading it. It's so gray outside.
It's raining. It will be crowded because of all the new year's
resolutions. But I went anyway. I walked in, picked up a random
magazine and plopped my sorry ass down on an elliptical
machine next to turbo-girl (I think those girls are put there by
gym management to make you feel guilty). So, I opened the
magazine and was bombarded by the smell of perfume, ads for
makeup...haircolor...skin creams...wrinkle remedies...none of
which was helping me feel any better. So I flipped fast, getting
frustrated.
Then I stopped. Closed my eyes and concentrated on what my
body was doing. My heartbeat. The sweat on my neck. I opened
my eyes and saw an article in front of me about a novelist who
was stuck. I half-smiled. The type was small but for some reason
I didn't have a problem reading it through my workout.
So this novelist was stuck and decided to get out, too. She went
to the library where she found a book on Eva Hesse, a artist who
also felt stuck. Eva had written a letter to a fellow artist asking
for advice. He wrote back telling her to stop being so hard on
herself. Stop being a perfectionist. Stop grumbling. Stop caring
what people think and JUST PLAY.
JUST PLAY.
Stop forcing yourself to do good art. Instead try to do really
bad art. Stinkers. Stop judging. And just play.
Those words changed Eva Hesse's life. She went on to become a
great sculptor, doing whimsical, feminie art. And there I was on
that elliptical, feeling my life transform, too. Feeling more light-
hearted and free. Smiling. Wanting to play.
Illustration Friday is sending free prints to anyone who
forwards email confirmation that they donated to a
tsunami relief fund. We'll be doing this until the end of
January, so if you've donated send your confirmation and
your mailing address to
tsunami-relief@illustrationfriday.com
Please allow 4 - 6 weeks for your print to arrive.
Haven't donated yet? Here are a few organizations that could
use your help:
Unicef
Amazon is taking donations for The Red Cross
OxFam
Doctors without Borders
Click here to view the available prints.
Many thanks to Heather Powazek Champ for the inspiration,
and to everyone for supporting this cause.
Last week's topic for Illustration Friday was Magic. I wanted
to share my interpretation:
***
New Years Eve was really low key and lots of fun. We spent the
night watching movies and sipping bloody marys with my brother
and his wife. At the stroke of midnight we lit off fireworks in the
backyard and listened to the neighborhood hum with excitement.
It was a nice long weekend and I lost track of the time. I think I
asked what day it was about 4 times. And today it's back to work.
I am not sure where to start...as I'm sure many people feel. And
of course, it's raining here, which doesn't help with motivation.
I made a list of "hopes" for the New Year. No resolutions. No
expectations. Just a list of things I hope for. One of those
things is to learn to relax and take downtime. So I went to the
bookstore yesterday and bought a purely-for-enjoyment book.
I hope it pulls me in and doesn't let go...after I get some stuff
done today. eesh.
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© Penelope Illustration. Stealing
is not nice. |
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