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"Friendly Advice"
I woke up this morning feeling really
good about the projects I have going
on right now. Then I made a mistake.
I read some websites that give "friendly"
advice to illustrators and writers. And
they all mentioned how difficult it is,
how frustrating it could be, your chances
are so slim, blah blah blah...And I fell
for it. Every word I read felt like it was
a bee sting in my heart. Ouch. Ouch.
Stop it!
Now, I'm not trying to be naive or keep
myself locked in some fairy-tale idea
of what living your dream could be like.
I realize there will be/are bumps and
plateaus and challenges...but damn.
Why does everyone focus so much on
the negative? And if they are trying to be
too positive they sound really new-agey
and hokey.
Maybe it's one of those things that when
you have an open mind you don't take it
the wrong way. Maybe it's there as a benefit
to those starting out. I'm sure that if I read
the same information on a different day it
would affect me completely differently.
I guess you just have to figure out what
your current vulnerability level is and know
when to shut off "inspiration" or "advice" as
you start to feel overwhelmed. Shut off the
voices and just do your own thing.
Be your own inspiration.
Which is exactly what I'm doing now.
The Lord of the Yum Yum
Probably the most noteable thing of the
weekend was seeing the Lord of the
Yum Yum in concert. Woh. I don't know
what else to say, really. He's amazingly
hilarious and fun to watch.
The Lord of the Yum Yum is a skinny dude
who gets up on stage and does an odd mixture
of scat, classical music and interpretational
dance. You cannot peel your eyes away, it's so
entrancing. As a matter of fact, we sat in the
pouring rain to watch the entire show,
beginning to end.
If he comes to your area, I highly recommend
seeing him.
Things are what you make of them, baby.
So far I've not regretted my decision
to branch off on my own. But so far it
still feels a little like I'm on vacation.
That I'll return to my routine one of
these Mondays. But I won't. It hasn't
sunk in yet.
It's funny right now to realize that I am
creating my new life. My new routine.
That I'm making decisions that will
become what I know intimately.
But in truth, so far it's not been much
of a routine. I've mainly been working
on the new site design (so much good
stuff I think you'll like!). And I've been
working about 13 hour days trying to get
it done so I can do other things (like
paying assignments). This isn't how my
days will normally be, or is it? Who knows.
I want my days to include at least one walk
or run or something physical. But so far I've
just been nose to the grindstone. I've gone
on only three walks thus far...not good.
I wonder what it will be like when the
dust settles.
***
Almost forgot to mention: I did do an assignment
for the sweet miss Hope. You can check it out here.
Somehow I got lassoed into working
a booth at the State Fair this weekend.
It was actually a really fun idea. The
local paper made a little photo-op for
people. It was a giant newspaper with
the headline "2004 Fairgoers the most
attractive ever". People could get behind
it to get their picture taken, and later
download off a website. It was fun to
watch people walking around, spot it,
smile and drag their friends into it for
a picture. People are goofy, man. Some
people were acting out scenes in it,
pointing and looking amazed. Others
looked like this was the last photo of
their life and had little plastic smiles
and glazed eyes. It was fun to watch
and talk to all the people.
People watching at the fair is the best.
I love getting a buttery ear of corn and
a lemon shake up and sitting in the
shade to look at them all.
I saw teenage couples who couldn't take
their hands off each other, little kids
squealing as the rickety rollercoaster
rumbled around in circle. There were
uppity old people who kept wiping their
hands with sanitary wipes. Lots of girls
wearing navel bearing shirts (who really
shouldn't have been). And don't forget
the carnies with their toothless grins
soliciting you to play a $5 game to win
a $1 toy.
Ah, the fair. I love it.
***
One last thing: Thank you to everyone
for all your suggestions for Inexpensive
Adventures! I could have never thought
of all those on my own. If you think of
anymore, just email me and I'll add it to
the list for the new site.
Living on the Cheap
Suddenly going from two incomes to
just one is hitting harder and sooner than
I anticipated. I knew it would be a shock
to the pocketbook system, but I didn't
think I'd feel it this quick. Suddenly there's
no going out for dinner. No spur of the
moment movies. No buying what I want,
only the things I really need.
I think learning to live well below your
means is a good lesson to learn. It helps
you appreciate things when you have them.
It also makes you really stretch your
imagination to do things that don't cost
any money.
So, yesterday I was thinking about a new
adventure to turn this potentially bad
situation into a good one. I started thinking
about all the fun stuff you could do without
spending a dime. And I realized that I can
think of a list myself, but you know what
would be really cool?
A collaboration.
I figure that this topic could benefit
everyone (unless you're stinking rich,
and in that case, phooey on you), because
everyone I know is living on a budget.
Plus it'd be cool to get more ideas than
what one person could have on fun, cheap
things to do.
Here's how it works:
I'll get us started with a list of things to
do that cost no money (or less than $5),
and then I'll ask you to submit any ideas
of your own (post a comment or email me).
Then I'll compile all the ideas into one
document and post them somewhere
on my new site for everyone to read.
I'll even illustrate some of them...
So, what do you think? Shall we get started?
Inexpensive Adventures
1. Tell scary stories around a bon fire.
2. Go for a walk in a park. Bring a beach
towel so you can sit and admire the
wildlife and nature.
3. Write in your journal.
4. Read that book you've been meaning to.
5. Or rent it from the library. They also
have movies to borrow for free.
6. Go on an art picnic. Bring your art
supplies to a park or random grassy
knoll and paint away.
7. Window shop (but make sure you end
up at a Dollar store and so you can allow
yourself a couple of items, guilt-free.)
8. Go to a local cafe and people
watch. (I love to hear little snippets
of conversation.)
9. Cook a gourmet meal instead of
going out to dinner. Eat by candlelight
for full effect.
10. Read the magazines at a newsstand
instead of buying them.
Okay....your turn!
We, here, at Penelope Illustration are
happy to announce our first hire. After
much searching and consideration, we've
finally filled the office manager position.
Please meet our new hire, Vince Dullaghan.
Vince comes from a barketing background
and has experience in everything from
woofing to wagging. We are very pleased
to have him on our team.
His duties will include: greeting the mailman
and the FedEx man, reminding everyone
when it's time for breaktime naps, and
scheduling walk appointments.
Please join me in greeting him today.
***
In other news, all the suggestions that have
been rolling in for the new site design have
been a tremendous help. Keep em' coming!
My brain is moving faster than I can
type today. My thoughts are jumbled
and jump from "let's go!" to "oh my...
what have I done?".
I wanted to say how awesome my
going away party was on Friday night.
The whole company shut down at
4:30 and we all went out for beers.
I felt like it was the end of the movie
Ocean's 11, when they're all calmly
watching the glowing fountain and then
step away one by one. It was beautiful,
saying "till next time" to everyone and
hugging them. But I was really sad by
the end of the night.
So, today is my first day on the job.
I'm my own boss. Woh. That's strange.
Creepy. I need to get to work, otherwise
I'm going to fire myself.
My first assignment is to redo this website.
I feel like I've outgrown it. It's evolved
stylistically and emotionally, and now it has
to physically. I have a lot of fun ideas and
good stuff coming up. But I wanted to get
some feedback from you, if you don't mind.
So, what would you like to see here?
Do you have any suggestions for sections
to add or fun things to do? If you do, please
either leave a comment here or email me
with the subject line: "Website Suggestions"
to penny @ penelopeillustration.com.
Now, I'm going to get to work.
I opened my eyes slightly and read the
clock. It was 3:38am. Colin had gotten
up to pee. I closed my eyes again and
drifted off easily. Then I felt my hand
being pulled. "Penelope, wake up."
"No no, it's 3am, it's not time yet."
But he insisted. So I did.
I stood up and he handed me my coat.
My coat? What's going on here? Is the
house on fire? Is he sleepwalking?
I put it on, once again reminding him
of the time. But he already knew. He
told me to get in the car.
So I did. As I sat there waiting for him
to go around to the driver's side I thought:
He's sleepwalking and is having a dream
where he takes me out in the middle of
a field and kills me.
And I just sat there, patiently waiting
to die. Hey, if it's my time, it's my time.
As we left the neighborhood I asked one
more time. What are we doing? Nothing.
Are you sure you're awake? Silence. He
just looked over and smiled.
We drove about ten quiet minutes to a small
park where it was really dark and I heard the
trunk pop. My theory was confirmed. He's going
to kill me. But instead of pulling out an axe and
a body bag, he pulled out two lawn chairs.
"There's a meteor shower tonight," he said.
I sighed and looked up just in time to catch
the first one twirl by. Ooh! And I made my wish.
The sky tonight is unbearably beautiful.
My work desk is nearly empty now. I have a
few pens and pencils and my datebook out,
but that's about it. I have been archiving all
my files from the agency. Putting everything
I think I may need on disk, probably to never
look at again. It will probably become a box of
stuff that I tug along through moves and then
finally get rid of one fine day when there's a
particularly calling bon fire. Probably.
And strangely, I feel sad. I thought the sheer
excitement and possibility of what I will soon
do would overshadow every other emotion.
But it doesn't. I'm sad to leave my friends here.
I'm sad that soon I won't get to throw fits about
some ridiculous client changes. I'm sad that
I won't get to get funny emails about nonsense
all day long. I'll miss it.
I keep thinking that when I settle into my new
life, that I'll grow accustomed to it and love it
even more. And I know that I'll still be able
to see my friends and hang out. But it will change.
And change is always a bit scary and a little sad.
I just wasn't expecting this.
I've been talking about my plans and
schemes a lot since I put in my notice
a week ago. Answering a lot of questions
and sharing about my excitement. But
it really hasn't settled in yet. I keep feeling
like I'm talking about someone else's
life. Or that what I'm speaking of is going
to happen in another year or two. Not in
four days. Not to me.
I don't know when it will settle in that
I don't have a "job" anymore. I won't
have a steady paycheck or a strict
routine or a retirement savings plan.
That my future is in my own hands.
When will I believe it?
I believe I may have spoken too
soon by saying I didn't know what
to do with my free time. I figured
it out quicker than lightning. This
weekend was filled with fun things,
and I thought it'd be fun to do a few
quick drawlins' to commemorate
my last official weekend (one more
week of work).
So here goes:
Friday night we had some pals over
for a mini cookout where we ate
delicious sweet corn on the cob
and watched the film "Marty":
Saturday morning I remembered I had
a yard. (Oh yeah, that big green thing
outside that I haven't touched in a year.)
So, I weeded till my fingers bled. And
now today I have sore leggins...can you
say out of shape?
Then on Saturday afternoon we dogsat for
some friends who were having an open
house. So Vince had a little sleepover party
with Abbey and Dudley. I didn't get much
sleep, but I think the dogs had a dandy time.
The dogs had such a dandy time, in fact
that they all passed out for a little nap
while we watched "Igby Goes Down",
a very uplifting film about a boy who
adores his mother. I kid. I really disliked
this movie about a slacker boy who
really hates his mother. And the main
character is Kieran Culkin, who looks like
he's about 14 in the movie so the sex
scenes are really disturbing. But, all's well
that ends. So there.
And then Sunday I ate all the chips
and salsa I could fit. Have I mentioned
my never-satisfied love for chips and
salsa? I really can't get enough. I crave
it all the time. Mmm...I could use some
right now.
Lastly, I took my motorcycle out for a spin.
Specifically spinning to Ritters to get a
raspberry sundae. Yum!
(I ride a vintage Honda.)
And yes, I always wear my helmet
because I wouldn't be safe without it.
I did modify it, though, by adding stick-on
bunny ears. I look ridiculous, and I love it.
The End.
I hope yours was peachy as well.
So I'm having a weird dilemma since
the big decision to leave my job. And
that dilemma is free time. I have some,
and I don't know what to do with it.
Really, this is my problem. I'm not kidding.
I vaguely remember having the luxury
of free time a while back. But for the
last year or more, I've not had any
(unless I went out of town). I've been
working every weekend, every night,
every spare moment. Now, suddenly,
I have a normal amount of work. And I
don't remember what I used to do with
my free time. So lately, I've been sleeping
a lot. A lot lot. I'm one well-rested-Lope.
This transition is proving to be really difficult.
What do I do? I don't seem to be into
reading lately. Too much work. My brain
needs a break. I can watch movies, but
that only really takes up two hours, tops.
I'm going to have to take up a hobby or
something. Cooking? Basket weaving?
Making soap? I don't know. I guess the
answer will come with time. Ah! TIME!
Oh, you...making me blush.
Thank you all for your wonderful,
supportive sentiments. It just lifted
me up and placed me right there
on cloud nine. Big glasses of
red wine and slices of sharp
cheese for all!
In other news, I wanted to mention
the AIGA of LA contacted me a while
ago and asked me to do a "skin"
for their site. Yeah, sounded gross
to me, too. After I told them to wash
their mouths out with soap, I learned
that a skin is sort of a shell for the
content of their site. So I sheepishly
apologized and agreed to do it.
You can check it out on their site:
AIGA LA.
The Leap
Friday was one of the scariest, most
exciting days of my life. Friday was the
day I'd been working towards for quite
some time. Friday was the day that I
quit my day job.
I walked into work in the morning with
a new perspective. I knew I wasn't
permanent anymore and it made me
take notice more than I usually did.
The stairs seemed longer. The walls
seemed more vibrant. My desk seemed
really clear. I also noticed that my heart
was beating like a stampede. I was
nervous.
I am usually the first one at work, so
I get to see everyone file in and take
their seats to start their morning rituals.
Friday I said hello to everyone as usual
and waited for my boss to come in. She
finally did. I had made up my mind that
I wasn't going to prolong it. I was just
going to get it over with. Like ripping
off a bandaid...just do it quick.
So, I went over and asked if I could
buy her a cup of coffee across the street.
She said sure, and we began the long
trek over there. She made some small
talk on the way and I could barely hear
her because my heart was in my ears.
I'm sure I stuttered and babbled something
dumb. After we got our coffees we went
outside to sit down because inside the
air conditioner was on so high and I was
already shaking.
I handed her this card I created that read
"A ship in a harbor is safe, but that's not
what ships are built for.":
I paused to let her read it. Then I found
myself saying that this was my two weeks
notice. That I was going to do illustration
full time on my own. That it was something
I need to do at this point in my life,
and it was now or never. That I needed to
be brave and take this leap.
And to my surprise, she smiled at me. She
said good luck. She said she knew I was
doing the right thing and that she was
sad because she'd miss me. She even
gave me suggestions for a few contacts.
I was not expecting that. I was hoping for
that, but not expecting that. I was floored.
I went through the rest of the day barely
able to concentrate. I had so much going
on inside me. I felt free and liberated!
For those who don't know, for the past 5 years
I've worked as an Art Director for an advertising
agency. A very creative agency. An agency
filled with wonderful, talented people. I worked
on their biggest account, along with some of
the other ones. And I enjoyed it, for the most
part. I felt like I was always pushing the work
to be less structured and more organic...to
be more artistic, and it was frustrating for me.
It seemed like I never got the opportunity to
open my wings and go.
I'd always been interested in illustration.
I watched illustration move through the
ad world, observing what was popular,
who was who, and wanting to learn more.
And it seemed like one day I woke up and
slapped myself in the forehead with the
idea that "Hey, I don't have to just watch
illustration. I can do illustration...why
don't I?"
And it all started happening from there.
I made this website. I contacted my heroes.
I read everything I could in order to learn.
I started getting my own clients and lots of
work. I did it all at night and on the weekends
(which made for a very over-worked,
tired-lope.) And it all came together and lead
me to the decision to leave my job. So, you
see why Friday was such a big day for me.
Now I sit here and I'm really hopeful. And
I'm really scared. I wonder what the future
holds. What I'll do...What I'll begin...Where
this will lead me. I'm taking a huge leap of
faith. What's the quote? "Leap and the safety
net will appear." Yeah, I'm doing that. Except
I don't want to fall into a net. I want to
sprout wings and take off.
I'm scared but I'm willing to work through
that. I am going to do what it takes. (I'm
figuring on a lot of Ramen and pbj's.)
So, if anyone you know of needs an illustrator
or some work done, please send them my
way. I'm officially putting out the word.
I need work!
I wanted to end by saying thank you to
everyone who's been so so wonderful and
supportive of me thus far. Katrina, Kate,
Christine, Alex, Keri, Lori, Claire. You have
all been bright, shiny lights for me. Also my
mom, my brother, my mother-in-law. I thank
you so much.
And finally. My husband. I could not do
this without you. Thank you.
Here we go!...
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© Penelope Illustration. Stealing
is not nice. |
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