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You asked for it. You got it.
Your friend, Penelope.
Penelope, the goof. Yeah, that's me.
Last night I had all the best intentions
to do some more work. To go to the
gym. To fix myself a healthy meal. And
to relax with a good book. But no. None
of that happened. I goofed off. At a
basketball game no less. I sat in the suite
and drank a few brews and cheered a few
cheers. I even made faces at a little boy
who was flirting with me. And I had fun.
Then I went home and immediately went
to bed.
Oh well.
We have to allow ourselves to have fun
for that to remain reflected in our work.
Or at least that's my excuse.
A heads up: anyone who's tried to email me
and didn't get a response...my apologies.
My email is all kinds of screwed up. I think
I have the situation taken care of. But if you
didn't get a response from me on something,
I'm not being rude...I just didn't get your email.
Can you please resend if need be?!
Sorry about this.
I have something to admit. I'm afraid. I have
hand-written addresses on 39 postcards to
potential clients. And as soon as the post office
opens I'll drop them in the box and send them
out with best wishes. I'm scared that I won't
receive any feedback. And it's really out of my
hands. There's nothing I can do but hope and
keep on workin'. It's just like fishing. You cast
your line out there and hope for a bite. There's
a chance you go home empty handed, but that's
not the intention.
So, if you see one in a trash can in your city,
fish it out, dust it off, and drop it back into the mail.
Much appreciated.
The world is finally covered in white snow.
It's everywhere and it's beautiful, like a
giant crystal chandelier. The trees have all
frozen in place and look like white chocolate-
covered pretzels.
These days I have wedding on the brain.
I thought I had 5 months to prepare...but
a friend informed me that it's only 3 months.
I don't know what I was thinking. So here
I am imagining enchanting things for my
wedding. I have some of the big decisions made,
I think. It's all the little things now that I need
to start on. But it's all fun. I'm not stressed
about it at all. It's just planning a big gathering
of all your friends and family. (yay!)
Oooh, I almost forgot to tell you. I have some
more fun stuff brewing...another super secret
surprise (or two). So, stay tuned for that.
I read this saying at Superhero Designs
and it really struck a chord with me. Such
a simple statement, so much meaning. And
I think it is really relevant to anyone who is
pursuing something creative. Especially
if you're afraid of it. How will you know what
it's like unless you do it? I decided to make
myself a reminder (the illo) and thought you
may like it, too.
Also, there are a few more pieces on the
folio page if you care to take a gander.
(Just scroll down to the bottom.)
I was just doodling in my sketchbook last
night and flowers appeared. I thought I'd
give them to you. Some winter flowers.
You know, I'm just being hit with a ton of
ideas lately. Really...they wouldn't be allowed
to cross certain bridges. I keep thinking of
things I'd like to do, look into, see, start,
add to my site, or experience. So, of course,
I'm writing lists. Lots of lists. They tend to help
my noggin let go for a while.
I am wondering now where to start. That's
always the killer. You have a plan in your
head, and you just need to take the first step.
And where's that step? But, I got some words
of wisdom from a new friendly acquaintence
who said to make lots of mistakes. And if there's
one thing I'm good at....it's mistake making. I'm
a pro. I try to learn from them though. Where do
you think the flowers came from?
Taking time off or away from a project is
really important. That becomes really clear
to me the more I refuse to do so. If I work on
something for too long with no breaks I can't
be objective. I get too close to it and have a
hard time coming up with ideas.
I have to take time for my brain to work on it.
And you know...a lot of the time the solution
presents itself subconsciously in a dream.
I go to sleep, sometimes not even thinking about
the problem, and I dream about the answer.
The key visual to a new illustration project...
a solution to a problem I had with a relationship...
etc. My brain just needed to work on it without
my knowing it.
I also find that I feel most creative when I
allow myself to step away. Take a walk, go
to the bookstore, watch a movie, talk to a friend.
It's like my creative well needs to be refilled.
And the whole world is out there just waiting
to pour in.
Ever have something come up again
and again in conversation or in your
head or just out of the clear blue?
The same topic that makes you wonder
if it's trying to tell you something?
Well, that's happening to me. And the
topic is community. Or connections.
I feel really blessed with all the positive
comments I get from this site. I feel this
little surge of "I reached somebody" or
"Someone feels like I do" when someone
writes a comment or shoots me an email.
It's wonderful.
There are so many interesting people out
there to know. So many people in life just
pass you by and you think...Boy, I wish
I'd gotten to know them better. Or, maybe
you actually do connect with them and make
a new friend. I guess I just don't want to
take that for granted.
I had a great conversation with a woman
a few days ago that made me realize that
she could have just been one more person
that went on their way with a wave. But
instead, a question was asked. An answer
was given. And experience was shared. And
I learned something. I connected.
Thank you to everyone who's left a comment
or sent an email or called me up. I am really
grateful for your support. Your connection.
I am marrying the sweetest boy ever.
I got flowers today. Purple and yellow
ones. For no reason. Out of the blue.
Apparently I've been moody lately. I
didn't even realize I have been. Several
people have asked me about it. I feel
alright....but sometimes you don't see
yourself very objectively. (Do you ever?)
But today, I'm smiling wide.
True to my plans, I spent a lot of time at the
bookstore this weekend. I could sit there for days
on end I think. But I always gravitate towards this
one magazine called New American Painting.
It's beautiful. All the paintings stare at me from
its pages. Some of them don't speak to me.
Others make me want to grab a brush and start
creating. So, I looked into a subscription...It's $90.
Holy monkey. That's disappointing. But I guess I
can always grab a cup of coffee and read it in the
bookstore.
The Colts lost. And, man, did they ever. They were
totally asleep for the first half of the game. The game
was so stressful, I had to quit watching for a while.
I thought I was getting an ulcer. Ha.
I also went to the bridal store to fit my bridesmaids in
their dresses. I originally wanted to have green dresses
for them. But all the green colors looked pretty bad.
I'm not a fan of pale moss green. And that seems to be
the IN color right now. So, I went with clay colored
dresses. Pewter, actually. I dig it.
Hooray, it's Friday! I decided that I needed
a little reminder to think happy thoughts
(ever see the movie Hook?) and focus on
everything good this weekend. So I created
the Bluebird of happiness. This little guy will
sit on my shoulder and sing songs to me.
(Well, he may just do it from the desktop
screen...but the shoulder thing is more fun.)
He said that he'd come by your window if
you wanted him to...
Plans for the weekend? I think I'd like to sit
in a bookstore and read for hours on end,
watch some football on Sunday, and maybe
even start a painting. Lots of things to look
forward to.
Well, a how-do-you-do to you.
I in need of a boost, so here I'll write
10 things that I am grateful for.
1. A newly carpeted basement. Oh man
is it pretty (and cozy).
2. String cheese. I am obsessed with
string cheese lately. No one knows why...
3. The lovely Alex who wrote me much
needed words of encouragement.
4. The movie Big Fish. Still rocking my world
after almost a week.
5. My sister who called me out of the blue
last night just to chat.
6. Big fatty wool socks. Toasty tootsies.
7. Waking up to music instead of an annoying
buzzbeep.
8. My postcards are printed and I am happy
with the way the turned out.
9. The penny (heads up) I found on the
sidewalk this morning.
10. The light snow that is falling today...
trying to catch them on my tongue.
Ooh, much better.
One more thing I would like to introduce:
Mosaic Minds. It has launched today.
It is still working through some small glitches...
But overall it's done. It's a new ezine to inspire
you, help you with your goals, and just bring you
some joy overall. This project was a collaboration
of women all over the globe. Congratulations to
everyone who put so much work into this project.
Slow times make me think that they'll always be
slow. Busy time make me think I'll never get a
break. This is where my balance mantra must
kick in. There seems to be a break in activity
and I've been going at such full speed, it's hard
to slow down. But this is just how it works.
C is a big fan of Calvin and Hobbes. This
morning he was telling me about one particular
cartoon. Calvin was in the bathtub and yelled
to his mom that it was too hot. So she came
in a turned on the cold water. Then he yelled
that he was too cold. So she came in and
added more hot water. Then Calvin yelled that
it was too deep.
I don't think C knew that what he was saying
was exactly what I needed to hear. But it was.
That it will always be too "something". And,
really, there's no sense in griping about it
because it will never be perfect. So just enjoy
what you have when you have it. Maybe the
imperfections are what make it perfect.
Balance, lopie-son.
Ok, so Blogspeak, my comments provider,
apparently ran into some problems. So
my site was hard to load for a while, and
I lost all your previous comments. (boo)
But I switched to a new comments provider
and now there's lots of space for you to
write in. Sorry about that...
Thank you, Mister Matt, for your help!
Balance
Balance is my word of the week. I need some.
I need to balance myself mentally and physically.
Mentally, I need to welcome the downs (so I can
more appreciate the ups). But, I need to stay even
keeled when upsetting things happen. I'd like to
be serene and calm. I know several people who
are serene and calm and they seem to enjoy it.
Physically, I need some balance too. I have been
trying to eat healthier foods lately. Not because I
need to lose weight, but because it makes me feel
good. Fast and unheathy food makes me feel grody,
but it's so......convenient. So, I am going to keep
apples and carrots around all over. They will haunt
my house. Yeah, bring it. And I'll go to the gym and
maybe try some actual balancing. (I am the clumsiest
person I know...remember the digital camera fiasco?)
Balance.Yep, that will be my mantra for this week.
Boy, did I get a lot of things accomplished this
weekend. Worked my keester off, basically. I had a few
illustration projects to play with. I also managed to do
my self-promotional postcards. I'm especially proud of
that because I find it extremely easy to put off projects
for myself. But, I think it turned out nice. High five me
next time you see me.
Oh yeah, I saw Big Fish on Friday night as well. I loved
it. I felt like the whole world was magical and romantical
when I left the theater. I danced my way to the car and
my brain started making up elaborate stories involving
fish and daffodils...
The sleepiness is upon me. I am exhausted.
Working practically around the clock has left
me ragged and puffy-eyed. I need to recoup.
Some lingering book reading and slow sipping
of tea is what I crave. And I'd really like to see
Big Fish this weekend. Tonight is opening night.
It may be fun to be around an anticipating crowd.
I've had a few scares the last couple of days.
I sent a package of spec illustrations to a children's
book editor that was mysteriously returned
to me un-opened. (There was much sobbing in
the parking lot....so much for taking set-backs
lightly.) I also had a job that was dipping and
diving and almost certainly killed. Then it came
back to life. And the unopened package was
explained by an intern who didn't recognize it
and simply declined (excuse me?).
But it has all worked out for the best, I think.
Funny how I get so worked up over things that
end up just being fine. But I never seem to
learn from that for next time. Sheesh.
Something fun for you.
Any other suggestions?
Practice. Practice. Practice.
That's what my piano teacher always said
to me when I was small. Practice will make
you better. And I didn't listen. I wanted to
be outside pretending I was a ninja or riding
my Holly Hobby bike. So, I never got good
at the piano.
But I did take that lesson with me. And I
believe that it relates to creativity. The more
you do, (writing, painting, drawing, knitting...)
the better you get. Creativity doesn't just
begin when inspiration strikes you like lightning.
If that were true, I'd be just sitting at home
staring up at the sky. It starts when you start.
And it may suck at first. Maybe at second, too,
for that matter. But it will get better. It will get
easier, too.
I know someone who wants to write. But they say
they have no ideas. They say they will wait until
Sunday when they have an opening. Or until they
get a clear picture in mind. But does that ever
happen? Maybe to a select few who we should
hate out of general principle.Why not just start
and see what happens. Even if it's a big pile-o-poo,
you don't have to show anybody. Wait until you
even sort of like it. It can be your own secret.
I find this true with my artwork. I am so scared
of this blank white sheet in front of me. It intimidates
me and tells me I'm no good. Then I make mark on it.
Two marks. Erase. Another attempt. And eventually
something happens. I love to do oil paintings too.
I get all messy and sloppy. But I haven't done it in a
while and it's scary now. I feel like I may not have
what I once did. So, my blank canvas sits and makes
faces at me from my studio. I just need to start.
Just start. And then practice.
There is just so much one person can do.
There is a point where one added thing
means something else must go. I have been
thinking lately about taking a class or two...
just to keep learning and to have some fun.
And add a little structure so there is certain
progress made. But I don't know when I could
possibly do this.
I got some really good books for Christmas
that I'd love to read. But I just don't have
the time right now to just sit and do nothing
but read. That would be such a luxury.
And on top of that, I am in the process of
learning how to knit. I made my first scarf a
while ago. It was a mess...holes, missing
sections, varying width. But I really loved the
process of knitting. The rhythm was hypnotic.
And I bought some really bright pink yarn to
make my next scarf (and fight the winter blues)
....but I can't find the time.
Already I get up early and stay up late to get
everything to fit. And I don't watch TV at all.
I guess just having prioritized to-do lists and
accomplishing the most important things is
all I can do. Along with that is letting go of the
assumption that I can accomplish everything
all the time.
How did Wonder Woman do it?
It is finished. I finally got to the wall in my
kitchen. It's not really a mural, I don't think.
More of a wall design. It's bright red (as you
can see) and now has white branches on
it. I think it turned out great. And now I want
to paint more walls...
Also, I've updated the folio page of this site.
Lots of new pretties for you to look at.
Happy New Year!
I hope you all enjoyed your celebrations.
For me, last night was kind of dream-like
and surreal. C and I were hungry so we
ventured out to get some food. We ended
up at a Greek restaurant (I love Greek food).
We walked in and everyone in there was
wearing colorful turbans and bells. I didn't
get the memo, so I just enjoyed watching
everyone else. Then came the belly dancers,
shaking what their mommas gave 'em. Yeah,
New Year's Eve belly dancers....who knew.
Next we drove to the zoo for the kid's special
Zoo Year's Eve celebration. (I don't have kids
of my own but I love to be around such happy
little people. They see the wonder in everything.
So, spending New Year's Eve with them was
especially magical.) The zoo was all lit up with
tiny lights. All the cold-weather animals were
showing off for the crowds. And a walrus was
flirting with me. When the fireworks went off all
the kids yelled, tooted their noise-makers, and
hoorah-ed. It was quite a site.
We ended up back at home to enjoy a fire and
a relaxing New Year's Eve ending.
Now we get to resolutions. I am not really sure
about how I feel about resolutions. For me,
I think it's a way to set myself up for failure. Oh,
I'm gonna work out 10 times a week and lose
603 pounds. Nah. I'm going to avoid chocolate
for the next year. Sure I will. I think I'll try to read
513 books and write 6 of my own. Um, no.
So I decided to just have one. One resolution that
I think I can keep because it means a lot to me.
I want to keep in better touch with my family and
friends. I resolve to send articles, pictures, cards
and letters to them. That's my one resolution.
Now, for the last 3 years, C and I have listed
expectations instead of resolutions. These are
just things we expect to happen in the upcoming
year. It's fun to look back on last year's and see
what came true and what didn't. I also do this
because I feel like it's good to write down what
you want to happen. It seems like the first step
to getting something in motion is saying it out
loud and writing it down. So, it's a good motivator
to accomplish things in the next year.
A few of mine are:
-I expect my good friend, VZ, will get pregnant
this year.
-I expect to get 2 new regular illustration clients.
-I expect to finish my children's book.
-I expect to illustrate a friend's children't book.
-I expect my wedding will be wonderful and
beautiful.
-I expect to make a few new close friends this year.
-I expect I'll visit Ireland this year.
-I expect to be happy most of the time, and not
get overly concerned with setbacks.
What are your expectations?
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© Penelope Illustration. Stealing
is not nice. |
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